My name is Marie and I would like to tell you a little bit about myself.
I remember when I was a small child, spirits would sit on the edge of my bed and speak with me. They were not scary, they meant no harm, and they taught me a lot. I have fond memories of them and a part of me misses those days. I also used to see things I did not understand when I closed my eyes, what I now know to be energy moving and flowing. I knew things a child would not know, and I remember making some big decisions about religion, what I believed and what I did not around age 6.
I remember telling my mom how everything is alive, which was meant with a soft scolding of “that isn’t right and stop talking about that, people will think you are odd”. My mother meant no harm, however, I never let go of that part of me as I knew it was too true and right. I have always had a “knowing” part of me. I would see things in my “mind’s eye”. When I read books, I saw a movie in my head. I would “feel” everything that people, animals, plants the earth, even things like homes, vehicles etc. felt. My mom used to say, “she is very sensitive and has a soft heart”. I did not understand what that meant until I got older. I am not sure she ever really understood just what that meant. I did not grow up in the world we have today. Back in the 70s and 80s there was not as much openness about spiritual gifts and abilities as there is today. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have grown up surrounded by people who understood these gifts and nurtured them in me. I guess that is partially what the spirit teachers that came and sat on the edge of my bed were doing, helping me to integrate into this world that we call the Earth plane.
I have been through a lot in my life. I have been told many times I am walking the path of the “wounded healer”. I can relate to that in a way as I have endured much trauma and I have always chosen to help others, so I guess that qualifies as a wounded healer. I believe my abilities came down through my mom’s line, however, I do often wonder about my father’s side as well. I remember my mom telling me that during a time when I was very sick, the doctors couldn’t diagnose what was wrong, very high fever, she had just taken me out of a bath of ice water to try and cool me down, she placed me on the bed and knelt next to me. She was so afraid for my life she prayed (she was not religious nor did I ever know her to pray) and as she was praying she raised her right hand to the sky, with her left hand on my arm and felt a jolt of heat come from the sky, into her hand, run down her arm and into me. My fever broke that night. I feel she was a healer and did not know it. She was so wrapped up in her own traumatic past that she never became aware, fully anyway, that she had abilities.
I was talking to my step mother about Native American spirituality and she told me that my father, having no native blood or teachings, when he would go hunting in the fall, if he fell an animal, he would do a small ceremony. He gave gratitude and thanks to the animal that gave their life to bring food home to our table. I remember he always used as much of the animal as he could and never shot for sport. I often wonder about what happened between him and those animals as he walked the woods alone searching for a deer or elk to bring home. I suspect it was a spiritual experience for him. He has always been very respectful of the earth, the animals, and people upon it. I learned much from him as a child and I am grateful for those teachings that I am not sure he even knows he passed on to me.
I have always been empathic (feel), a seer, knower, and I hear things that others do not. There are terms for those abilities, and I could go into them, however, I want to speak from my heart rather than repeat things you may hear tossed around often. If you do not know and want to know what those terms are send me a note and I will be glad to talk with you about them.
After a long search in many different churches and religions I found, that for me, my church was nature and my religion spirituality. I love the connection that the Native Americans have with the Earth, nature, and animals. I love the ceremonies they do to honor those things. I find great peace in that. I also understand that there are many paths to the light and many teachings that we all learn along the way. We all do not have the same paths. They may be similar, or they may be totally different. If the heart is pure and the intention is there, no matter how many teachings may have to be repeated, we all achieve what we came here to achieve. If we have faith and believe, if we keep putting one foot in front of the other, learn from those that come into our lives, and remember no matter how alone we may feel we are never alone as our spirit family is always close, by striving to improve every day we will have a life that fills our hearts and our ability to achieve our dreams becomes a reality.
I started this blog to talk about things I have experienced, things I want to experience, hopes and dreams. My wish for that is that maybe it helps someone out there in some small way. If you have questions or feel driven to reach out to me for help, please do so. I look forward to hearing from you. Until then may peace be in your heart and may you feel love surround you.
Marie